Things I Hate In Books #2: Convenience

We've all been there, I'm sure. Reading a book that has been great up until this point. "This point" just happens to be the climax of the story and the hero/heroine is in the tightest spot of all. It will take a miracle, or very clever plotting, to get the character out safely. Suddenly, it seems as if the author tires of the little game. And *poof* the problem is solved. Either the bad guy gets bored and leaves, the main character discovers a hand grenade in their pocket they'd forgotten about, a miracle actually does occur, or some other lame, convenient, anti-climactic bilge. I have to admit I've been guilty of this one and have wished many times I could go back and rewrite those portions.

The best conclusions to big scenes involve previous plot devices, tiny elements that appeared in the preceding pages, but that the reader has forgotten or discarded as unimportant. Suddenly, they show up again and the reader thinks, "Oh, yeah! I remember that!" That results in a seamless plot.

It isn't necessary to always do this, of course. That wouldn't be possible, because then you have so many unobtrusive bits, there would be no actual story, just a series of unrelated items. A rule of thumb to remember is this: The bigger the scene, the bigger the solution. The resolution must be equal to the problem or the reader will close the book feeling cheated.

New Novel Progress

Well, as some of you know, I've been planning to write a new novel for the better part of a year, now, with little or no results to show for it. I have started this thing several times, but it always seemed to fall flat before ever getting off the ground. But, I am happy to report that the last week or so has provided fruitful writing and I am once again hopeful that another book will be the result. Because of this, and because I found this nifty little progress graphic, I've decided to include my progress on the blog. I will be updating this post regularly with my progress and I'll put a link to this post on the sidebar so you won't have to scroll down for ages just to find out what the score is. Sound good? Good. Here's the current tally as of tonight.


Oh, and the target word amount in red is just an estimate. In my experience, a book just writes on and on until the story's finished, so it could be sooner or later than what is indicated above.

Things I Hate In Books #1: Dreams

Don't let the title fool you. I actually love books, in general. I write them, read them, listen to them on CD, use stacks of them for a camera tripod, and give them as gifts. But there are things about them, in them, to be more precise, that drive me nuts. That's why I'm starting this new series of posts called, well, read the title again. I don't want to type it twice.

Dreams. I hate dreams in books. Any kind of dream is bad enough, but when the author uses it as a plot device, it's much worse. I can't tell you how many times I've been reading a book and come to a part where the main character is involved in some crazy nonsense or impossible situation.

"Ah!" I say to myself, because there's no one else around. "How will they get out of that one?"

Then, a page later, the character wakes up and finds herself in her own bed, safe and sound, although cold sweat is undoubtedly drenching the sheets. Must have cold sweat.

I think this is a cheap and lazy way to plot a novel. Any time the situation becomes tough, it's all a nightmare, a movie the character's watching, a book they're reading, or some other lame mechanism designed to save the author from actually being creative.

I understand there are authors who use dreams in their books and do so with discretion. But, I gotta tell you, I've never read a book that was enhanced by a dream sequence. I've read books that weren't necessarily harmed by one, but never helped. There's always a better solution.

What's My Name?

I don't usually do these things, because they're mostly a waste of time. But, I'm feeling somewhat frivolous at the moment and my WIP is calling, so I don't have a lot of time to blog this evening. Besides, I thought it was kinda fun. And short.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current street name) Sparky Four Mile
2. YOUR GANGSTER NAME: (fave ice cream flavour, favorite cookie) Strawberry Pecan Sandy
3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) Char
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) Blue Dog
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Alan Baytown
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom's maiden name, first three letters of your hometown.) Harcrhobay
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink put "The") The Green Coca-Cola
8.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & fathers' middle name) Lavern Harold

I Wanna Know!

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it?

Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

What came first, the fruit or the color orange?

What should one call a male ladybird?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?

If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

Why is it called a TV set when there’s only one?

Natural Holiday Progression

I saw Christmas lights today and found it quite disturbing. Maybe it's just me, I don't know, but I like holidays to come in their natural order. First, Hallowe'en, then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. These days, though, they all seem to run together. If things continue on their present course, we will soon be putting turkeys into trick-or-treaters' pillow cases and serving Santa for Thanksgiving dinner. That's just not right, folks!

Christmas is my favorite holiday, so it would seem logical that I'd want the season to last as long as possible, but the fact is that I like to keep it down to a month max. I think, because I do enjoy it so much, that I'm afraid of losing the magic I feel that (this?) time of year. Kind of like eating too much candy. I have a big sweet tooth and tend to unwisely indulge. Yeah, that's right. Tummy ache! So, I'm afraid of getting a Christmas stomach ache. Too much, too early, too long. Let's get through Thanksgiving first, that's what I say!

Great CD and Book Reviews

I've been listening to "Sacred Arias" sung by Andrea Bocelli. He brings a great sound to these beautiful old melodies. I love the sound of his voice. If you haven't heard him or this CD yet, be sure to check it out.

Also, for those of you who have not heard, Christian Fiction Online, my book review service, is not currently accepting new review requests. We've gotten swamped over the past few months and that, along with life getting in the way, has led to unfair wait times for both authors and publishers. So I decided the best thing to do was hold off any new book reviews until things settle down and we are able to get this stack of books down to something manageable.

Current books will be honored, we will do our best to get them done. I apologize to any of you currently waiting for a review. Let me assure you that we have not forgotten you.

I have to say, this response to the service is gratifying. When I first decided to take this on a couple years ago, I had no idea it would bring such overwhelming response, so Thank You! I appreciate the votes of confidence and, hopefully, we can get this train back on track!